Codes Galore

            If you have any doubt that Obamacare is out to micromanage health care in this country, take a look at the latest medical billing system devised by the Health and Human Services Department called the International Classification of Diseases, 10th Revision.

            Most people who receive statements relating to medical care that is charged to insurers might notice codes associated with every diagnosis, treatment or hospital inpatient procedure. These are meant to improve payment strategies and care guidelines. Right now there are 18,000 of these codes.

            Now get this: the latest revision has expanded the number of codes to 140,000. There are codes  to specify precisely which part of one's anatomy is hurt or diseased; codes for where a patient got hurt (there are nine of them for mobile homes alone); codes for what caused the injury; codes to indicate how many times this injury occurred; and of course codes for the diagnosis and the treatment. Here's how it might work:

PATIENT:  I need help, Doc.

DOCTOR: What's wrong with you this time?

PATIENT:  I broke my nose.

DOCTOR: I'll have to look up that code. Is this the first time you broke your nose?

PATIENT:  No. It's the third time.

DOCTOR: I'll have to look up the code for the third time. Where did it happen?

PATIENT:  At my home. My motorhome.

DOCTOR: There's a code for that, too. Exactly where in your motorhome?

PATIENT:  I ran into the flag pole outside.

DOCTOR: There's a code for that as well. What caused you to run into that pole again?

PATIENT:  I was being attacked by a chicken.

DOCTOR: I have a code for that, too, and one for fixing your nose.

PATIENT:  What should I do after that?

DOCTOR: I have the perfect treatment plan for you.

PATIENT:  What's that?

DOCTOR: Move the pole.

PATIENT: You have a code for that, too?

DOCTOR: No. But when HHS finds out that for the third time you broke your nose running into the flagpole outside your motorhome while being attacked by a chicken, they'll come up with one. You have to understand that when it comes to the government, there is no such thing as a limit to absurdity.